hey! have been feeling confused lately though that might not be a surprise, just got a word from God that i shouldn't let missions be a hiding point in life and that i should face my problems head on and not bring them to the mission field. I got some encouraging words from bill and marsha burns who gives prophetic words every day and i have to say they are really really accurate!

"Beloved, I am bringing revelation to your heart and mind that will reveal strongholds in your life that have not yet been torn down. I will show you the way of victory, but you must quiet your own soul and refuse to give place to fear. Let Me show you the powers that are arrayed against you so that you can wage an effective spiritual war. I am about to level the playing field by giving you righteous perspective of what was and what is and what is to come, says the Lord."

John 16:13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.

Even as i'm writing all this down the Lord is speaking to me and it does hurt but well how else can i be a good vessel for Him to use.
It is also amazing that even when you know that you have trouble which troubles you every time that all your worries fade away when you're in God's presence. I also know that i do not need to prove anything to anyone.

Kinda boring Wednesday

well these few days there is nothing much happening, we had a 2 hour worship meeting (is is supposed to be a prayer meeting) i was on impromtu duty which i'm still getting used to... i'm going to be on duty this sunday yay! or should i say *shudder* cause i'm still afraid i might mess up the slides or something, well whatever the case i hope the comments would not be as bad as the last time ex. laggy and really slow, but with God's help i know i can do it!!! i'm just nervous cause i don't have anybody to share it with anymore, feeling abit lonely and confused about some stuffs but other than that its been ok... have been having cough with phleghm which sucks and now i have to eat and drink medicine which is not fun!!!! although my cough medicine brings me to the sweet land of dreams really quickly, heavenly hours spent on sleep i find it helps me to forget what i'm going through and makes my wishes come through. well that isn't that good considering that i have to hand up work yesterday and yet its still not done!!!! I have been having weird feelings lately, hard to get rid of though, lately i have been struggling with feelings of jealousy towards my sister and i hate these feelings!!! i know that its the devil trying to cause chaos between us, nice to see we're still a threat to him. I also feel like i'm losing a best friend due to these feelings of jealousy.... haiz whatever my problems are i know God can take care of it! although its very very very painful and there is no one i can share this with except with a friend from another region which is quite sad cause i can't find a good friend in anybody in my own region except for Joalynn....Well i'd better stop ranting and go do my work so signing off here hahaha

The rising hahaha

Hey there! these few days i have been wallowing in self pity and nursing thoughts that seemed harmless but in reality they are like nursing a cobra deadly and dangerous.....always reasoning with myself, fooling myself into thinking they weren't dangerous if handled in a certain way but in reality just by entertaining them they are already dangerous no matter how you handle it it is still dangerous. i have seen how the devil attacks the Lord's annointed and i'm mad at the devil! the devil truly attacks people who have great potential in God's kingdom. a message to all who reads this: if you're not attacked you're not a threat to the devil, isn't it insulting to know you're not a threat to the greatest enemy on this earth? i can see the youth's rising up in faith and in their walk with God, something i was not trained to see until after God dealing with all the barricades that was preventing me to see what God has stored for us, God is still dealing with me although its really painful but i know God wouldn't put me through something i cannot emerge from being stronger and more powerful in the kingdom of God! to all those who are facing trials now : NEVER GIVE UP CAUSE HE'S ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU!! AMEN!!!

The Falling and the Rising

hmm this week was a tough spelled with capitals TUPH HAHAHA considering being confused and nobody was helping me, thinking people were ignoring me, not wanting me in their group and thinking that i need affection from a pet! well i realised one thing.... IT'S ALL A LOAD OF CRAP!!! once again i have successfully lowered my shield in the battle and got hurt! well it's going to be a tough journey and i'm going to need all the help i can get! BEING IN THE WORSHIP MINISTRY ROCKS!!! although i got sore feet for standing on heels too long but it's worth it knowing that God hears my cries out to Him! And God sure works in weird and unusual ways! hahaha like He used old kid's blast songs to remind me He's still in charge of everything! and Esther tan and Joy was also really sweet for asking me how i was and how if i ever need someone to talk to i can go to them! THANKS ESTHER TAN AND JOY!!! well falling down and getting up again is the whole point of the journey! THE MAIN THING IS THAT YOU DON'T LET THE DEVIL WALK ALL OVER YOU LIKE HE OWNS YOU!!!! remember you+ God= VICTORY!!!!